Carib Beer XI vs RSSB - August 3rd 2009

This was our second game against the RSSB Stingers, the first being last year, when we had secured what seemed at the time an easy victory. However, this time around, their skipper promised a much stronger side than had faced us last year, and we feared the worse. Nevertheless, we arrived at Regents Park in dribs and drabs as usual, to find the RSSB team already assembled and ready to go. As we so often find ourselves doing, our Captain Martin Haigh opened discussions with the RSSB captain to determine how to get the game underway as quickly as possible, given that it was already 6pm. Martin suggested that as we were still all not there, that it would make sense for us to bat first. Although the opposition captain agreed that this appeared the only option, he did mention that we appeared to have tried the same trick last year, and that in fact this could seem like a calculated attempt by the Caribs to bat when the light is at its best, and much happy laughter was had by our captain as he dismissed the unlikely ploy, secretly thankful, no doubt, that he had avoided losing yet another toss.

So organised did the RSSB outfit look, however, that the opposition Captain was even able to hand Official Scorer Carib Rogerson a sheet of paper detailing exactly which bowlers would bowl which overs, and in what order. Although this seemed like a sensible option, given the lack of any kind of scoreboard, it would present a problem if a particular bowler began to get smacked around. "Not a problem", the captain explained, "as I just tell them that they're not coming off until the end of their spell, so they'd better just stop complaining and get on with it". Surely with this kind of motivation from the RSSB leader, we'd be in for a tough game.

Martin now began to marshal a couple of volunteers to open, happening this time on the unlikely candidate of the aging Medium Pace Opening Bowler Carib Rogerson, who in dreadful form with the bat this year, and never having opened before, seemed an unlikely choice. The other choice for opener was perhaps more obvious, Carib Willis, as there is a suspicion that he has been "playing for his averages" all season by going in late in the order in an attempt to secure a not out to bolster his average. Obviously aware of his shenanigans, Martin had (perhaps) worked out that getting him in first would at least force him to abandon that option, given the usual requirement to get our innings up and running quickly to allow for the slow scoring nurdlers to follow. Another scenario would be that Mr Willis scored too slowly up front and would flat bat everything that was thrown at him as his colleagues toiled away at the other end. However, the decision had been made, and the rookie openers headed out to face the RSSB bowling attack, with Carib Willis facing the first ball.

The RSSB opening bowler, RSSB Clayton, found some pace, and against the slow scoring Carib Willis, thoroughly beaten for pace for most of the over, the only time the score sheet was troubled was when four byes clattered down to the boundary ropes, missed completely by someone who was to become a great asset to the team during the course of our innings, the stand in RSSB wicket keeper. The keeper was also able to assist further in the over by dropping Barry Willis on nought, something that Barry would undoubtedly have tried to have disqualified from the scorebook by some nefarious means or other.

However, the second over proved much more successful as from the other end Rookie Opener Carib Rogerson was able to bludgeon 3 fours on the trot against RSSB Duggan, and after 2 overs, we were already on 21. Third over was more of the same against the thoroughly cowed Carib Willis, but in the 4th over, Carib Rogerson, attempting to repeat his bludgeoned fours, managed to hammer one into the ground and watch, forlornly, as it bounced up, looped over, and hit his stumps before the aging old bowler could get back and fend it off.

Third man in was our most reliable batting ringer, Ringer Tungate, and although he started slowly, due to the pace and accuracy of 1st change bowler Nikhil Kapur, he was soon hitting his straps and playing some nice shots around the ground to keep our innings going, while from the other end, Carib Willis's strike rate collapsed alarmingly. However, things eased off as the RSSB introduced their 3rd and 4th change bowlers, and even Slow Scoring Nurdler Carib Willis felt able to begin to score the odd risk free run. Nevertheless, Ringer Tungate approached his compulsory retirement score of 25 with some crisp fours, bringing our Captain, leader and Best Batsman Martin Haigh to the crease, with the assembled ranks of the Caribs on the boundary hoping for another of our Captain's batting master-classes.

Initially, Martin began circumspectly, his relentlessly correct defence punctuated by the odd drive and thick edge, and our now useful looking batting card progressed healthily towards the hundred mark. Even Barry Willis managed to scrape past 25 by smacking a couple of out of character fours. However, with only 10 men, the RSSB Captain was forced to depart slightly from his regimented bowling plan and re-use his pacy opener Nikhil Kapur to substitute for the absent Wayne Murphy, scheduled, according to the plan, to bowl the 16th over. On this occasion, however, his pace was just too much for our Captain and Best Batsman as a fast full toss caught our Leader completely on the hop and smashed into his stumps without bouncing. Those of us on the boundary cried "foul", hoping against hope that the ball would be called too high by our Official Umpire Michael Lee. However, this hope was pure fantasy and we were forced to watch Martin glance towards the heavens, bereft at the cruel decapitation of his innings, and then slowly trudge back towards the boundary rope for a disappointing 12 runs.

Next man in was Official Tour Manager and Test Match Organiser Andy Weaver. Obviously the recent failure of his Captain and Leader Martin Haigh, the previous ball, weighed heavily on his mind as he too decided to completely miss his first delivery from the fast RSSB Bowler and we watched as the recently reassembled stumps were again smashed to the four corners of the park, and our Hapless Tour Manager was forced to endure a long and lonely trudge back to the boundary for nought.

Our innings now headed towards its conclusion, and although the final few overs went for runs, we were relying on the early runs of Willis, Rogerson, the RSSB Wicketkeeper and Ringer Tungate to get us to a healthy total. Flame Haired Sledger in Chief Carib Cordey, now back in the side as a regular played an uncharacteristic Cordey innings, i.e. longer than two balls, and for slightly more than his customary four runs. However, after he was adjudged LBW to a decision that, strangely enough, no-one, not even the Northern Bakery Magnate himself, questioned, we were down to the tail. Slow Scoring Team Accountant Carib Gordon Berry and the Compulsive Bouncer Bowling Ringer Jarrod Worthy were left to see out the remainder of our innings against the last of the RSSB bowlers. In the event, we were to post a, for us, quite competitive total of 124 for 4, with two retirements, and we should remember to recognise the opposition Wicketkeeper's contribution to our total, as without his healthy contributions to the extras column, the total would have been considerably less.

The RSSB Batsman trudged out to begin their reply, and Martin Haigh instructed the desperately out of form medium pacer, Carib Rogerson, to open the bowling, and somewhat hesitantly, the aging old bowler marked out his run, hoping that he would be able to find some kind of form and avoid the humiliation of his previous two bowling attempts. Worryingly, his first ball was a dreadful wide, and immediately, his shoulders slumped and it was only after some encouragement from his captain that he he felt able to carry on. His captain's inspirational words appeared to have done the the trick, however, as his second ball was on target, just missing the stumps of the RSSB opener. The third ball was deadly accurate, and smashed into the stumps, sending the first RSSB Batsman back to the boundary line. Buoyed by the success, his next ball was equally accurate. The No 3 RSSB batsman was bowled first ball and the RSSB were two down. Unfortunately, the next ball was blocked out, denying the Caribs their first ever hat-trick, but with the over complete, the RSSB batting card looked in some disarray at 2 for 2.

Unfortunately for the Caribs, however, the next over was less successful, as the compulsive bouncer bowling Ringer Jarrod Worthy continued his customary bouncers at the hard hitting RSSB opener, Nickil Kapur. Two wild bouncers were both dispatched towards the boundary, and the RSSB Batting card began to slowly recover.

Third over, however, the aging old Carib Rogerson was able to induce a further false stroke in one of the RSSB Batsman and Carib White, fielding close in on the leg side was able to juggle the ball into his grasp, and the next batsman was back in the hutch, as the Caribs began to hope against hope that we were about to witness the kind of batting collapse that only us Caribs are able to replicate on a regular basis. Although from the other end, the tactic of six bouncers an over continued, and as Nikhil Kapur hit his straps and the score began to creep along once more. As the opening spells of both Carib Rogerson and Ringer Worthy came to an end, line and length bowler Carib White was introduced into the attack, and the run rate began to increase still further. Nevertheless, it wasn't long before the line and length bowling White was able to sneak one through the defences of RSSB Minson, and yet another wicket had fallen, but by now the score had passed 50 with the RSSB Stingers heading towards victory.

RSSB Adrian Smith too was able to push the score along healthily, smashing the hapless white for two huge sixes and several fours and both him and opener Nikhil Kapur reached their retirements and were forced to leave the field. Martin Haigh brought himself on for a couple of overs, and as has been a feature of his bowling this year, he too found himself short of form, and going for runs, brought himself out of the attack in favour of grinning dot botherer and newly promoted opener Carib Willis. With the exception of a huge bludgeoned six, however, Carib Willis was able to introduce some control and went for very few against the RSSB middle order and the run rate slowed considerably. It was only with the introduction of useful batting ringer, and mid pitch half track long hop bowler Dan Tungate that the RSSB batsman began to make progress towards their target again. Although still up with the run rate, due to the heavy hitting of their opener Kapur, the game still looked evenly poised.

Heavy hitting middle order Bludgeoner Carib Cordey was thrown the ball and as usual, we were not sure what we were in for, given that after his year long stint in Germany, where the supply of sausages was said to have dropped alarmingly, he has taken to wearing spray on shirts and playing forward defensive shots.. On this occasion, however, following his slow scoring and out of character 7 while batting, his bowling was generally on target, although lacking the zip of two years ago, very few runs were taken from his flat and lobbed straight on spinners. However, by now, with sixteen overs gone, the requirement had fallen to less than 20, and the opening bowling partnership of the aging, and now accurate again, Medium pace Rogerson, and wild and erratic bouncer bowling Ringer Worthy, reconvened to complete their spells.

Carib Rogerson's first over went for 5, and the RSSB batsmen remained on course for victory. However, luckily for us, another hard hitting RSSB batsman now reached their retirement score and was forced to retire in favour of the RSSB lower order, who visibly lacked the hard hitting abilities of their predecessors, and we began to sense that victory could be ours if we could keep the last couple of overs tight. However, after a sharp run out, and another wicket by Carib Rogerson, taking his match tally to four, to a fine but highly resented catch by Carib Willis, the previously retired RSSB Batsmen returned to the crease, and victory began to slip from our grasp as they appeared visibly better batsmen than those we had just dismissed and stood a far better chance of securing an RSSB victory should we fail to dismiss them.

This was in fact what happened, as the compulsive bouncers bowled by our Bouncer Bowling Ringer Jarrod Worthy was hit around the park, and the 17th over went for 9. However, Carib Rogerson was able to pull this back somewhat only going for 3 runs in his final over, but this left the compulsive bouncer bowler to bowl the final over, with the RSSB Stingers only requiring 7 for victory. First ball was a wide bouncer, but the next bouncer was a dot, however, the third bouncer was smashed for four runs, and a single scored from the fourth bouncer put the scores level. The penultimate ball was obviously a wide bouncer, but our relentlessly correct umpire Michael Lee chose not to give the game away on a wide and didn't call it, much to the RSSB Batsman's chagrin, and much staring down the pitch, teapot impressions and colourful language ensued, as the final ball approached, with the RSSB still a run away from victory.

Unfortunately, on this occasion, Jarod Worthy's next bouncer was on leg stump, and the ball was comfortably smashed away to the boundary for four. Jarod's final over of bouncers had gone for 10, and after the initial flurry of wickets, the RSSB Stingers had knuckled down and secured a fine victory, and we all felt somewhat cheated after getting so close to have lost the game on the last ball of the match. However, we had come close and given a good account of ourselves and given the friendly nature of the game, the RSSB fixture will be one that we look forward to next year. Unfortunately, however, this means we have now lost three games on the trot, and given the successful start to our season, it appears that with only one game to go, we won't be ending it quite so well.

Carib Beer XI lose by 3 Wickets

PHOTOS OF THE MATCH TO FOLLOW WHEN AVAILABLE

Scorecard