Carib Beer XI vs Dodgers, Regents Park,

Thursday 11th July 2024

Looking to improve our match performance after recent poor displays (see the prior match report where no one managed to score into double figures) The Carib hierarchy, thought it was time to take a leaf out of the books of professional sport. An extended mid-summer break much like Footballs winter break, and a visit to a T20 game at the Cheltenham festival between Gloucestershire and Kent both occurred before the Carib’s next took to the field. The fixture next in the calendar was against one of the Carib’s older rivals, and a team that often put the Carib’s to the sword, The Dodgers. So good are they, that The Dodgers set their team up so their batspeople bowl and there bowlerpeople bat (The author has recently been on a diversity course and is still learning). Hopefully the recent education from Kent on how to play T20 would come through in the Carib performance, and we wouldn’t be taking our lesson’s from Gloucestershire, who were soundly beaten.

As is customary, there were lots of late arrivals, late cry-offs despite updating apps to say people were available and other such nonsense that is now becoming quite unsavoury, but moaning aside, we managed to rustle together enough players to kind of put forward a side – with a few ringers from The Dodgers thrown in to assist in the fielding.

Martin obviously inspired from hearing positive sounds from Carib Goochie and convinced that the lessons of Kent had rubbed off, thought that his strike rate would be much improved from yesteryear and asked him to open the batting with dot ball specialist Carib Weaver. The lessons of Cheltenham had worked – Carib Goochie only wasted a single delivery, a proper T20 out by edging to the keeper whilst attempting to drive one down the ground, out for a golden duck, standard. At the other end, Weaver managed to prod singles and play forward defensive shots to assemble a pretty slow 25 off of 38 deliveries with a single 4 – un-inspiring stuff. Lesson firmly not learnt.

Other Caribs came and were even less T20 like in their batting. Bowen’s 15 at a strike rate of 38, Moss equally poor, 3 off 11. Derisory.

Thankfully extras stepped up to the plate and amassed a respectable 33 runs, helped along by contributions of 2 and 3 from Holmes and Haigh off a combined 6 deliveries. The Caribs were also assisted by a further contribution of 13 runs from 11 deliveries from Swanand, who it should be noted didn’t make it to Cheltenham, and so wasn’t poisoned by Gloucestershire’s turgid display.

All told, the Caribs had scored 95 runs. The Dodgers Batspeople had, as is often the case, done their job and held the Carib’s back from posting a reasonable score.

Due to the Carib’s lack of numbers, the Carib’s needed assistance with filling spaces in the field, additionally as it was primarily the Carib bowling line up that had suffered with low turn out – yes, I can’t believe I have written that either considering we only managed to score 62 runs with the willow, it also meant that The Carib’s asked if The Dodgers players may bowl an over or two to get through the 20. Reluctantly The Dodgers agreed, on the proviso that all Carib’s bowled an over. Considering the low total, its very possible The Dodgers assumed they would knock off the runs before their bowlers were needed.

However, The Carib openers kept things tight, even through the first changes and so although, well ahead in the run rate it did mean that all Caribs had bowled before the heady total of 95 was breached.

And so, by some bizarre coincidence, we reached the 15th over, the Carib wicketkeeper lost a contact lens, just in time to allow the Carib’s to deploy a Dodger bowlerperson to fulfil some of the required overs needed to be bowled. Also coincidentally, this happened just as a Dodger batsperson retired at that exact moment, and so it made more sense for the retiring batperson to take on wicketkeeping responsibility rather than the Caribs to faff about changing wicketkeeper gloves and pads. And so, as the final runs were scored, it was a Dodger Bowlerperson, bowling to a Dodger wicketkeeper, but being dispatched by a Dodger Batsperson. And so although the Caribs lost, you could argue it was the Dodgers who beat themselves. In reality I’m just blaming the poor tutelage of Gloucestershire.

Pathetic Cricket finished, it was off to the pub for a few beers ahead of next weeks encounter with the The Oldboys where maybe the Carib’s could become the tutors and be more like Kent, and less like Martin’s Gloucestershire.

Carib Beer XI Lose by 8 Wickets

Scorecard