Carib Beer XI vs Old Boys,

Greenwich Park, Wednesday 3rd July 2019

"There's a breathless hush in the park tonight (except for the parakeets)
Fifteen to make and the match to win,
A bumping pitch and a blinding light,
An over to play and the last man in" (with apologies to Sir Henry Newbolt)

Would Old Boy Captain Courageous Curtis pull off a notable victory for the OBs or would the struggling Caribs record a first win of the season? Read this stirring tale of an epic encounter… The green acres of Greenwich Park were bathed in July sunshine as the teams assembled for this historic fixture. In keeping with tradition Carib Captain and Best Batsman Haigh (on one of his brief visits to the UK) lost the toss. Apparently lacking confidence in his side's ability to set a total, OBCC Curtis invited us to bat.

Reassuringly correct Carib Weaver and the returning Carib Bowen faced what the scorebook suggests were accurate opening overs from OB Brown and OB(former)CC Edmondson. No wide was recorded until the 5th over - but in no small part because the batsmen hit (or were hit by) all of the more wayward deliveries. The Caribs made a steady start until one of the less wayward deliveries rearranged the stumps of the no longer correct Weaver. This brought CC&BB Haigh to the crease earlier than usual - eager to tuck in to one of the less threatening bowling attacks we face? So confident was he that in place of his customary helmet he was sporting a floppy sunhat.

The playing area was - literally - eccentric, one boundary being so distant that it almost needed a midway relay station to convey messages to deep extra-cover. The OBs fielded well, aided by some tricksy footwork from OB Madden, but could not prevent our second wicket pair adding 63 in less than 7 overs, both batsmen retiring undefeated. This brought Very Occasional Carib Willis to the crease for his annual appearance. Despite operating, he claimed, with one eye out of action he was no doubt hoping to register another 'not out' season and stake a claim once again for the coveted Batsman of the Year trophy. It was not to be, but he did contribute to what must be one of the more absurd overs seen in a Carib fixture (a crowded field).

OB Moss, deprived of his ritual duel with the Northern Bakery Magnate who was absent saving the civilised world, appeared out of sorts. His first ball was on its way to augment the wides column when it was hit for 4. His second and third were so far either side of the wicket that they escaped that fate. The OBs were sledging now - and not only at the opposition - "You don't know where he's gonna bowl it" "Neither does he". And so it came to pass that OB Moss's fourth delivery was inexplicably dead straight. Equally inexplicably, VOC Willis chose this moment to unfurl his new wonder stroke, doubtless the fruit of hours of diligent practice over the winter. Sadly the exotic attempted switch-hit made no contact with the ball which, unimpressed, met his pads for the plumbest lbw this umpire has seen in years. A wicket in the bag, OB Moss rounded off the over with a final two wides. Lightning didn't strike twice.

The unfortunate Carib Horn fell to a first ball lbw bringing together the tortoise and the hare. Carib Rayner, startled by hitting his first ball for 4, spent a further 18 adding just 3 while Ringer Pearce continued where he had left off the previous week, hitting 24 from 24. The final total of 147 would be a formidable target on a pitch giving uneven bounce. Honourable mention should be made of OB Brown's figures of 3-0-9-1 which prevented it being even higher.

The OBs set off in hopeful pursuit but did not get the start they wanted, OB Luciani being unable to cope with Carib Moss's awesome lack of pace. In a new fixture this season we are to play a team by the name 'I don't like cricket'. The OBs' second-wicket pair Wallis and Sparkes may feel they have rights to that label, both being vocal critics of the game in the past. OB Wallis also fell to the deadly Moss. OB Madden got halfway to the crease before thinking better of it and turning back, but eventually arrived only to survive one runout attempt and succumb to a second. OB Bell was dismayed to find himself facing demon bowler Carib Weaver - "Oh no, he gets me out every time!" - and promptly hit his first ball straight to CC&BB Haigh for the second of his three catches.

The Carib fielding was good - standards now so high that when Carib Weaver did well to get his fingertips to a fiercely hit shot Carib Horn judged "that must go down as a chance". One-eyed Carib Willis pulled off a tremendous catch; perhaps in future he should play with an eye patch.

At 18 for 4 the OB cause looked lost but cricket hating OB Sparkes was now joined by OBCC Curtis for a fine stand of 42 in 5 overs. OB Sparkes feasted on the bowling for 20 before being given not out hit wicket (wrongly, it transpires - such a complicated Law) only to hit his stumps even more comprehensively, and terminally, two balls later, giving VOC Willis a deserved wicket. OB Read gave first OBCC Curtis, who retired on 25, and then OB Moss fine support in stands adding 48 so that the target was reduced to a very gettable 37 from the last five overs.

Just as OB Moss was looking forward to reaching his own 25 he was bowled by Ringer Pearce. This brought CC&BB Haigh into the attack - no doubt he held himself back for the death overs, not just to avoid bowling at the big-hitting Moss. The match was turning as he accounted for OB Read and, with a fine caught-and-bowled, OB Hood. With OB(former)CC Edmondson falling second ball, as is his wont, it was left to last pair OB Brown and OBCC Curtis, returning to the crease, to try and steer the visitors home.

"But his captain's hand on his shoulder smote,
'Play up! Play up! And play the game!' "

OB Brown did indeed, sharing the honours with OBCC Curtis in a spirited stand which left them needing 15 from the final over. But this was bowled by Carib Nitin who was not to be denied a wicket (after all, Carib Moss had taken two!). He was just too good for OB Brown and the game was ours - by a slender 12 runs.

Phew.

Carib Beer XI Win by 12 Runs

Scorecard