Carib Beer XI vs IBM, Regents Park,

Monday 8th May 2017

08/05/2017 0908 - Message from Carib Willis: it's too arctic to play cricket

08/05/2017 1311 - Message from Carib Willis: fake (weather) news: it's raining, we must call off the game [translate to, looks a bit cold still, I'm worried I might catch my death of cold]

08/05/2017 1800 -The Carib first match of the season was at a slightly chilly Regents Park which was evidenced by Carib Moss putting on not one, but three layers. Though still in short sleeves as he is not a Southern Jessie (or nesh as they say in Yorkshire).

However even more shocking than a Northerner wearing a jumper was the news that Carib Worthy has gone teetotal (for 10 weeks, 1 day, 17 hours and 36 minutes, not that he is counting). He was spotted browsing the cold drinks fridge in Tesco on the way to the game but bought nothing as they didn't sell non-alcoholic beer. In fact only one Carib, who shall remain nameless, bought any alcohol at all. Surely bringing into disrepute the Carib Beer name. A motion to change the team name to "Carib Low-alcohol beer until your role in the game has finished" has been put forward to next year's AGM.

The match was against regular opponents IBM who had managed to muster 8 players, just one less than the Carib 9. The stand in Carib skipper ex-tour manager/ special projects manager/incoming new treasurer/deputy vice-captain Mr Weave sensibility agreed to a 9-a-side match thus minimising the need to lend fielders. Initial thoughts that this would lead to a high scoring match were to prove unfounded (see scorecard below).

Sadly our deputy vice-captain could not call on our usual opening bowler of ageing medium pacer/unreliable web manager Carib Rogerson due to a sad trip to the vet for an unfortunate passing on of old friend of Peter's. Due to the lateness of the Caribs finding this out there was no time to arrange a minutes silence/ order black armbands. Instead there was a toast in the pub after the game to the sadly departed. RIP Ewok.

So in the absence of Peter the opening bowling was distributed to strangely sober half-tracker bouncing bowler Worthy and Carib Kant aka Shaun/Sean/Shorn. Their first few overs led to little action other than Carib Willis cursing between balls about how cold it was and the serene progress of IBM opener Holliday on his way to an unbeaten 25. So our deputy vice-captain decided to turn to newest ringer Adam, yet another player from the Carib academy aka the Tech department at the BoE. He had told us in advance he hadn't played for several years but used to be alright. This proved to be a little understated as his first delivery was at lightening speed, reared off the pitch and clanged into the helmet of unsuspecting IBM opener Blake. His first ever Carib over was a maiden, only not taking a wicket as IBM Blake was just trying to stay alive and the ball was hitting the deck so hard it never threatened the stumps. Not surprisingly Adam was kept on for a second over and it wasn't long before he produced a deserved wicket taking delivery. Unfortunately for our new ringer the ball flew through the gully area where the Man Who Moans About The Cold was stationed. Clearly the temperature meant the catch was destined to be grassed which sadly was the case. A neutral observer might say it was a tough chance on a cold day but all the Caribs when asked afterwards said it was a dolly. Apart from bowler Adam who said he "never expected" Barry to take the catch.

Fortunately for the Caribs we had another ringer in our midst, Will Charnley who was bowling from the other end and sensibly decided to take dodgy Carib catching out of the equation by clean bowling IBM opener Blake.

The IBM team were unperturbed and continued their steady accumulation of runs helped by an array of no balls and wides, particularly in the overs from Carib fixture secretary and toasty warm in his jumper Moss. Carib Moss even managed the rare feat of managing to bowl someone with an above waist high full toss which was correctly called by relentlessly correct Carib umpire Lee. So not surprisingly Moss was withdrawn from the attack after 2 overs. This was still 1 more than Barry Chilly Willis was allocated. Despite only costing 5 runs off his over, including a wide which Bazza thought was only given due to him being a bit "mouthy" with the umpire, our deputy vice-captain decided that was more than enough and Barry was sent back to shiver in the gully region.

So our opening bowlers returned to the attack with them picking up a wicket apiece. Carib Shaun/Sean picked up another clean bowled. Bouncer bowling teetotaler Carib Worthy had Carib team secretary Carib Holmes to thank with an early contender for catch of the season* for his wicket.

*actually a slight fumbled effort from a looped up chance at square leg. Catch of the season so far by virtue of being the only catch. Carib catching stats so far: Willis 0/1, Holmes 1/1.

With the Carib openers and ringer Will now being bowled out with 3 overs still to go it was clear ringer Adam would bowl 2. However this meant one further over was needed from either Moss or Willis. Clearly deputy vice-captain was totally unimpressed with the overall display of Essex boy withering in the cold Willis and offered the over to Moss. Carib Willis magnanimously agreed to this, probably because his hands were frozen. Inspired by this vote of confidence Moss actually managed to pitch a ball which somehow deceived IBM skipper Whitcombe and was quickly snaffled by sometime butter-fingered Carib for a smart stumping. At the other end Ringer Adam somehow finished wicketless but with highly economical figures. This left IBM with a respectable but obtainable target of 109.

The Carib run chase began slowly and continued that way for almost the entire innings. Our openers Ringer Adam and Carib Holmes progressed to 10/0 after 4 overs which was due to the very tight bowling of IBM Whitfield. IBM were also able to chip away at wickets at one end with both ringer Adam and deputy vice-captain Weaver returning single figure scores. At the other end Carib team secretary Holmes continued to rack up the dot balls. This led to some "Rohit like" aggressive shouting from the boundary edge from Carib Shaun/Sean who was keen the game should be moved on.

Carib Willis did his best to up the run rate, mainly so he could keep himself warm running between the wickets managing a run a ball 15 before he too fell to IBM skipper Whitcombe. Barry also managed to hit the first boundary of the Carib innings- in the 14th over from the bowling of IBM's female player Ipe. At this point due to the slow run rate the Carib still needed 42 to win from 5 overs. Ringer Will was sent in to up the run rate which he duly did with a couple of boundaries, albeit with one of them courtesy of a dropped catch by sub fielder Adam, helping out the Caribs indirectly. However the excellent IBM bowling continued with IBM Holliday adding to his earlier unbeaten 25 with the key wicket of ringer Will.

So the Caribs required 13 from the final over with opener Holmes and wicketkeeper Bowen at the crease. Alex eventually realising that being 13 off 37 ball was a bit slow managed to up his run rate and dramatically hit the first ball of the final over for 4. With 9 needed from 5 balls suddenly it was game on. Sadly for the Carib the rest of the over was very tight with opener Holmes running himself out from the non-strikers end in a sudden change of attitude and thus denying him the opportunity of being the first ever Carib to carry his bat and score under 25.

So the Carib lost by just 6 runs in the end continuing the trend of close games with IBM.

The regular troop to the pub then took place. Although it was a quiet affair in the absence of usual ring leaders Carib Willis and Gooch and the bizarre sight of Carib Worthy ordering a blackcurrant and soda.

Umpire Lee took responsibility for the Carib beer name by staying on for drinks with opponents. So an unsuccessful start to the season, but a close game against a friendly IBM team who we hope to keep playing in the future.

09/05/2017 11:00 - Carib Willis brings up in his team meeting at work how cold he still is feeling.

Carib Beer XI Lose by 6 Runs

Scorecard