Carib Beer XI vs Network Rail - June 8th 2009

After the ass whooping we had handed out to the Bank of England last week, we were full of confidence going into our first, proper (i.e. category I), game against real opposition. However, by 8.30, we were to be sadly disabused of any notion that we could compete on equal terms with the Network Rail bowling attack. The fact that they were, as usual, executing various fielding drills on the boundary edge as we trudged from the station, minus beer, warned us of the trouncing we were in for.

Martin duly lost the toss, and the Network Rail team decided to bat first. To begin with, we did quite well, Carib Rogerson removing the opposition captain in the third over for 5, while from the other end, Carib Uttam, fast but wayward, kept the lid on slow scoring Network Rail Thatcher, who was busy helping his team mate with the scorebook by recording numerous dots. Third man in, however, was the prolific Bhadaurin, itching to increase the run rate. It didn't him long, dispatching the aging Carib Rogerson for six soon after, and proceeding to hit anything full to the boundary, the scoring rate only being kept under control by the relentless dot scoring of his Network Rail colleague at the other end.

Ringer Phil and Carib Captain Martin Haigh took the first change overs, and the Network Rail batsmen continued to add to the scorecard, albeit at a completely different strike rate. However, it wasn't long before our Captain and best batsman was able to induce a false stroke in the Network Rail number four, bringing Mr Draper, a known bunny, to the crease. Martin didn't wait long before he struck again, removing the hapless rabbit after two balls. However, his dismissal was to bring another hard hitting Network Railer to the crease, and the Network Rail run rate began to increase as the ball again disappeared to all parts. However, with the maximum innings score of 25, it was only so long before Network Bhadurain was forced to retire, and we breathed a collective sigh of relief, hoping that we were close to the Network middle order by now. The remainder of the Batsmen were not to trouble the scorers to any great extent, and our captain Martin Haigh felt comfortable enough to introduce Carib Willis and the injury prone Carib Harris into the attack.

Both the Carib twirlers were to claim wickets, including an LBW by Mr Harris, a rare event given that the ball rarely gets that far. Carib Willis, although expensive, was also able to induce a catch and we were close to bowling out the Network Rail batting line up. However, nine wickets down, the previously retired Bhadaurin trudged out to bat, to resume his not out innings, and again set about the hapless Carib attack and smashing Ringer Phil for a huge six that must have gone almost half as far as one of Chris Gale's recent attempts.

One smashed ball looped up towards our injury prone twirler Carib Harris, who ran around in circles for five minutes before settling on a piece of ground to attempt a catch, hands outstretched as if grasping a live wasps nest. Unfortunately, the ball, when it arrived, was to spill out of his grasp, and Carib Harris clutched his hands in pain, as we all held our breath, fearing another lengthy lay-off for our hapless injury prone twirler. A while later, another chance came his way, but on this occassion, pragmatism overtook valour, and Carib Harris wisely decided to leave it to go straight through his fingers, and there were no further injury scares.

As the innings came to a close, we were to find that the Network Rail Batsmen had only managed to accumulate 1 run less than we had scored the previous week against the Bank, so therefore, there was a theoretical, mathematical chance, that we could secure a victory, if we were only able to score at the same rate and with the same success as last week, to secure an unlikely victory.

Unfortunately, this was not to be. Our captain, best batsman and leader Martin Haigh opened the batting with our best ringer, Phil Melling, and our two strongest batsmen were at the crease. In the first over, however, our greatest Batsman, Captain Martin Haigh, spooned up yet another catch to one of the assembled ranks of Network Rail close fielders, something that has been a feature of Martin's batting for the whole of the season. Bereft at his failure, Martin trudged back to the boundary, a humiliating nought to his name, and our run chase already in tatters.

Our slow scoring Tour Manager Andy Weaver joined Ringer Phil in the middle and proceeded to try to steady the ship by resolutely blocking his first two balls before being bowled by the wiley spin of Network Rail Britash. New Carib Member Uttam, next in, managed to hit a confident three before missing a reasonably straight one and being given out LBW by our relentlessly correct Official Umpire Michael Lee. Carib Rogerson, the aging fast bowler, and vice Captain, was next in, and for a while, looked comfortable, pushing the ball around and taking his score to five. However, with his captain Martin Haigh, now established behind the stumps as replacement umpire, he was to feather a catch through to the wicket keeper from a wide long hop, and watch in horror as his captain raised his finger signalling his dismissal. Although there was certainly a sound, it was distinctly un-ball-like, and the accurate line and length bowler was forced, humiliatingly, to accept defeat and trudge back to the boundary, with the Carib batting card a complete mess, with only our best Ringer Phil Melling holding it together.

Carib Rogerson was followed by nurdler in Chief Carib Berry and floppy hatted Ringer Bailey, neither of which lasted too long, although their time at the crease again caused the scorebook to be punctuated with numerous dots before their hapless dismissals. Ringer Moss again missed everything that was thrown at him, even attempting a new "scoop" shot, in a desperate attempt to avoid hitting it by trying to lift his bat up over his head three seconds after the wicket keeper had already caught it. Nevertheless, the straight one that hit his stumps was not long in coming, and he too, found himself back at the boundary edge with only our tail, Keen Wicketkeeper and chief photographer Bowen (1 ball), sacked vice captain Carib Willis (7 balls), and injury prone slow bowler Carib Harris (2 balls) between us and a dreadful defeat. Our innings score of 54 was bolstered by 16 extras and a top score of 18 by our best ringer Phil Melling. Everyone else had failed, and we had crumbled to a disappointing 72 run defeat in about half an hour.

However, even though it was only a Monday, there was a healthy take up of the post match pint, finishing as we did around 8.30 and with the night still young. The game was nevertheless played in good spirits, and there was much cameraderie between the teams, a requisite, as we are due to play the Network Rail team again later in the season. However, we're sure that we can put up a better fist of it then, well it could hardly be worse.

Network Rail Win by 72 runs

Carib Rogerson after his freak dismissal	Carib Bailey hits out	Carib Bailey heads back to the boundary	Carib Rogerson being freakishly dismissed
Carib Rogerson rather cross after his freak dismissal	Opposition Bowler, taking a Carib Wicket	Ringer Phil hits out during his top score	Carib Rogerson executes a straight drive
Carib Rogerson, poised, following his straight drive	Opposition Bowler taking yet another Carib wicket	Opposition spin bowler	Opposition Spin bowler, bowling, yesterday
Ringer Phil hits out again	Captain Martin Haigh following his ZERO	Carib Captain Haigh, trudges back, for nought	Carib Uttam, just before his dismissal
Carib Batsman	Carib Tour Manager, ready to play a defensive shot	Carib Uttam plays towards mid wicket

Scorecard