Carib Beer XI vs Network Rail - July 16th 2009

By normal match reporter Peter Rogerson

In an effort to come up with enough superlatives to describe this great Carib Victory, one is tempted to fall back on tried and tested Churchillian quotations .. "Never in the cricket field of human endeavour have so many wickets been taken with so many long hops" .. "we will take catches on the boundary, we'll take catches in the in-field, we will never drop a sitter while fielding at point". However, in the scheme of things, no superlatives are necessary, it was just a great performance by the Carib boys, and their increasingly useful and reliable ringers. With our record this year so far, four wins from five games, we're starting to feel like an actual proper team. In fact, our only loss has been against the team that we were, eventually, to convincingly beat today, the first time in several seasons that we have had a result against them that was in any way in our favour.

Nevertheless, we need to calm down and try and give an honest appraisal of the game, as hard as that may be to do. Team-wise, we were without our heavy hitting northern bludgeoner Carib Cordey, taking care of things at home, comparitively useless 4th change bowler and holder, inexplicably, of the Carib Beer XI Bowling Award for the 2008 season, Carib Willis, Team Secretary and serial injury prone Richard Harris and Heavy Set and Time Saving bowler Glen Gooch. To make up the numbers, our ranks were bolstered with hat wearing finger spinner Ringer Bailey, compulsive mid pitched bouncer bowler Jarrod Worthy, potential Carib member, useful batsman and half track two bounce long hop bowler Dan Tungate and a new find, an Aussie student not gainfully employed in bar work, Shauno Larcom.

As usual, it was with some trepidation that we approached Regents Park, fully expecting the opposition to be already kitted out in whites, with badges and stripes, practising hitting catches, stretching, and generally looking like a proper cricket team should. As usual, we arrived in dribs and drabs from all corners of London, some dragging kit bags, others, cans of beer, hoping for, as we have come to expect against this opposition, an early finish to the game, and many reasons to drink large quantities of alchohol on completion.

With a full opposition team ready and raring to proceed with the thrashing, the four Carib Members available to play at 6pm were asked by the opposition captain exactly what could be done to get the game moving. Stand in replacement Vice Captain and aging medium pacer Carib Rogerson opened discussions on behalf of the Caribs. The logic of the old bowler's argument that a team of 11 taking the field, with a team of 4 batting was inescapable, and in the absence of our best batsman, Captain, leader, and Team Manager Martin Haigh, the opposition Captain agreed, and the decision was made, the Caribs would bat first. Usually, such an action would result in our dismissal for 40 runs, followed by a swift 5 overs for the opposition to knock off the runs, so the decision was risky, but in the event, it was our only option. So, at around 6pm, with half our team in the toilets, and the other half on the Northern Line, we began our innings, fully expecting that we'd be in the pub by 7.30.

Our newest member, serial six hitter and fast but somewhat erratic quick bowler Carib Uttam, along with our oldest ringer and most popular hat wearer, Ringer Bailey opened the batting. The first two overs, true to form, didn't go well. Network Lord bowled a maiden first up, and second over, fast bouncer bowling Nishan struck immediately, removing the thoroughly beaten for pace hat wearing twirler Ringer Bailey for nought, and with a sense of deja vu, we were 0-1 after two..

However, in the third over, things got moving. Carib Uttam hit two graceful fours, and our innings was up and running, or so we thought. Number three, was chief photographer and keen wicketkeeper Andy Bowen who resolutely blocked or missed everything that was thrown at him for a full two overs and it was only the restrained power hitting of our newest member, Carib Uttam, that kept our score card tickiing over at all. After what seemed like hours, our best wicketkeeper, so desperate for a run, screamed towards Uttam for a quick single. However, doubting himself, with Carib Uttam obviously agreeing with his reasons, both were to engage in some kind of personal bleep test, stopping, starting, running, stopping, shouting "go", "stop", "no", "yes" and "oh, go on then" in a desperate effort to scamper through for a single. In the resulting melee Carib Bowen's stumps were thrown down, and the hapless wicketkeeper was trudging back to the growing Carib ranks on the boundary for a thoroughly miserable 1 run.

Next in was the oldest and most experienced of the Caribs, newly 41 ex-pace bowler Carib Rogerson, desperately trying to shake off a hangover from the previous evening. Although the messed up Carib was able to hang around for about 5 balls, his skyed catch for a miserable two runs brought a quick end to his short vigil, bringing one of our most useful ringers, Dan Tungate, to the crease. To beat the Network Railers, we'd need a couple of our batsmen to hang around for the full 25 runs, and on this occasion, Ringer Tungate was not to let us down. His innings of 25 not out was punctuated with 2s, 4s and two 6s and took us a good way towards our eventual final score before he was forced to retire in favour of our best batsman, leader and hapless catcher Martin Haigh.

Compulsive bouncer bowling Ringer Jarrod Worthy was to join him soon after, and although he too was to miss most of what was thrown at him, from the other end, our Captain Martin Haigh began to punctuate his innings with the occassional scoring shot. These were soon followed by a few smashed fours and some confident single running as our Captain easily outpaced the desperately slow scoring bouncer bowler, easing, as we hoped, towards another 25 not out retirement.

Unfortunately, and inexplicably in the circumstances, the Network Railers chose to bring on one of their long hop bowlers, the decidely unsporty "john". However, his spell was devastating. His first over of twirlers was a wicket maiden, bowling the compulsive bouncer bowler Worthy with an overpitched long-hop, much to the instinctive half track bowler's chagrin. Next over, our Captain and greatest batsman Martin Haigh was also to fall prey to his wily twirlers for a useful, but given our relatively slow run rate, a disappointing 17.

Next man in was our new Aussie Ringer Shaun Larcom, claiming, as most Aussies do, that he wasn't up to much, could bowl a bit, but was a bit rubbish in the batting department. In the event, we had nothing to worry about, as although he started slowly, he soon hit his straps, and "Shauno" was soon pushing the ball around the park for some very useful runs. The last wicket to fall for the Caribs was the wicket of Carib Berry, to a run out, the details of which don't seem to have found their way into the scorebook, but by this time, the Carib's innings was nearing its completion, and we were well over the 100 mark. Including the generous 20 extras that we had been awarded, we were to finish on a very healthy 125 runs, for six wickets with two retirements and two decent "mid teen" scores. However, given the Network Railers habit of smashing our hapless bowlers out of the park, we had no idea whether even this would be enough to secure a decent contest.

As usual, our Captain and leader Martin Haigh threw the ball to his most reliable opening bowler, the hungover after a night on the beer and curry, and aging Medium Pacer, Carib Rogerson, hoping that we could at least get off to a reasonable start. With neat alcohol poring from his temples, the old Carib began his over, and immediately, it didnt' look good, as half the balls barely made it to the other end, but against the opening batting of Network Thatcher, more an accumalator, than a dasher, the scorecard remained intact for the moment.

Second over was taken by the bouncer bowling Ringer Jarrod Worthy, whose half track long hops form his standard repertoire, rather than an occasional aberation, as with his rival at the other end. At the end of the second over, the Network Railers were at least up with the run rate. Third over, however, the Network Rail innings began to unravel badly. The old medium pacer, overpitching, was able to induce the other opener Network Lord, to play one onto his stumps, and we had our first victim in the bag, much to the Old Carib Bowler's great relief, as the change in batsman provided at least a few moments for him to catch his breath.

Next Batsmen in was the perennially dangerous Nishan, probably the Network's greatest batsman and someone who can seriously derail your bowling figures, given half the chance. However, to our great excitement, Jarrod Worthy actually bowled a ball in the batsman's half of the pitch. Perhaps undone by surprise, the Network Batsman completely missed the opportunity to smash a six off his first ball, and missing it, watched in horror as the overpitched bouncer clattered into his stumps and sent him on his way back to the boundary, and Ringer Worthy with a useful lesson in the merits of pitching the ball up to considers, at least occassionally, as the next man trudged out to join the carnage.

Carib Rogerson's third over was equally successful. A mid pitch long hop was smashed towards the boundary with complete disdain by Network Gregory, however, running round the long on boundary came our best ringer, Dan Tungate, determined to catch the skied ball, whenever it should eventually decide to begin its descent towards the ground. As it was, he pulled off a stunning catch, right on the ropes, after a few tense moments of juggling practice, and the Network batting card looked seriously holed. However, more was to come. Next ball, the resolute defence of opener Thatcher failed him completely, and he prodded another Carib Rogerson long hop straight back to the old medium pacer, by now sweating alcohol, who, through the haze of near exhaustion, managed to hold on to the chance. Another Network Railer was back in the hutch, and Carib Rogerson was on a hat-trick. In the event, the rest of the over passed without incident, and the old medium pacer retired to the long leg boundary to recover.

But it still wasn't over. Jarrod Worthy, perhaps unfortunately, having just bowled the opposition's best batsman, was removed from the attack, and our newest member, six hitting Carib Uttam was brought into the attack by our captain and best batsman, Martin Haigh. In the event, it was yet another inspired bowling change, as our fast and pacy Uttam snaffled two more wickets in his first over, bowling both Mendelson and Boyd with fast and pacey deliveries. Unbelievably, the Network Rail batting card now showed the amazing score of something like 30-6 !! Surely, we wouldn't be able to lose from this position. As it was, the Caribs were cock-a-hoop with excitement, and a 7.30 arrival in the pub began to look like a distinct possibility, and for a change, for all the right reasons.

Nevertheless, the Network Rail batting card bats deep, and the two new batsmen, Network McCann and Network Captain Steven Fowles began to knuckle down and push along with their innnings. Hapless line and length bowler Carib White's solitary over went for 10, as did our captain Martin Haigh's two overs. Half track long hop bowler Dan Tungate's solitary over of half track long hops also failed to further add to the wickets column (although as usual, the extras column saw plenty of action), as the Network Rail scorecard began to show distinct signs of recovery in the face of some rather innocuous bowling from the Carib first, second and third change bowlers.

Our newest Aussie Ringer, Shauno Larcom was introduced into the attack, and although he began rather erratically, his first ball a Harmison like wide that sped away to the boundary, he began to find some accuracy and, more dramatically, some rather deadly looking away-swing. Nevertheless, he too was to remain wicketless, and it was only with the reintroduction of our pacy and newest member, Carib Uttam, that the Carib bowling attack began to re-assert some control, and it was with some horror, that we discovered that the Network Railers were only around 30-40 from victory, and with about 5 overs left in the game. The two Network batsmen, however, where both now nearing their compulsory retirement scores of 25 and, eventually, both were forced to leave the field, demuring to their numbers 9, 10 and 11 to get them over the line.

it was important, in this instance, that we avoid dismissing any of them, knowing, as we did, this would lead to the reintroduction of the Not Out batsmen, who would be allowed to return to the crease once everyone else was out. This seemed their only chance of victory, as with the Network bunnies at the crease, we felt they had little chance as it stood of over-hauling our score. Unfortunately, however, so poor was their batting that anything approaching straight was in danger of getting them out, and so hapless was their running between the wickets, that anything returned to the wicket keeper within a few minutes of them hitting it was liable to find at least one of them stranded half way down the wicket.

In the event, this was what happened, when what would normally be an easy single was chased down by a close in fielder and thrown back to our keen Wicketkeeper Andy Bowen, perched catlike behind the stumps. To avoid throwing them down would have seemed churlish and somewhat against the spirit of the game, and so, unfortunately, we were forced to take the final wicket of the Network Rail batting card, bringing back to the crease the previously retired S Fowles, and with it, Network Rail's last chance for victory.

However, by now, the light had decidely closed in, and with the bouncer bowler Jarrod Worthy bowling, not a nice time to be batting. Jarrod's attempts to bowl the ball in the batsman's half of the pitch, to avoid a dangerous bowling reprimand from the opposition, continued to be largely a failure, although our pacy Carib Uttam largely succeeded, and we began to fear that the light could actually bring an end to the game if the opposition batsmen began to be concerned for their safety.

In the event, they kept going, and to our great concern, we discovered that in the final over, they only wanted around 18 runs to win, with a batsman at the crease that we have consistenty failed to dismiss, and still, mathematically, in danger of defeat. The over would be taken by our newest Aussie Ringer, Shauno, whose previous overs had at least proved difficult to get away. A wide ball saw some byes added to the score, and in the fading light, the Network Rail captain was somehow able to smash two fours, and the required runs began to diminish alarmingly, 12 required, 10 requried, then, 8 from the last two balls, but to our great relief, the final ball arrived with 7 still wanted, and victory assured. As it was, the final ball was accurate, and although they began to run, they gave up half way, realising that they had lost the game, and to our great surprise, it finally dawned on us that we had actually won a great victory.

As usual, after the hand shaking and congratulations, we headed off to the pub, but unusually, in almost pitch darkness, and none too soon, as the rain now began to fall heavily. However, nothing could dampen our spirits as we'd managed to pull off an exciting victory, in the dark, against an opposition that has taken great pleasure in inflicting a series of heavy defeats on us over the years. Nasser Hussain in particular, talks of taking momentum into the next game and drawing on the experiences of winning, learning how to win, and the confidence that a great performance can bring. In this case, next week's opponents, Dodgers, another unknown quantity, better watch out, as it's unlikely that they could be bringing the same levels of confidence and momentum that we have taken from this match, into the contest against us next week. However, we understand them to be a good side, and we'll need to replicate our great performance this week if we are to carry on our successful winning streak of 2009 into the remainder of the season.

Carib Beer XI Win by 7 runs

Tour Manager Andy Weaver Hitting Out	A rare scoring shot from our Chief Statistician	Carib Berry and Ringer Larcom after a scoring shot	Rare footage of Carib Berry hitting out
Martin Haigh following his tragic dismissal	Bouncer Bowling Ringer Jarrod Worthy taking guard	Marting and A Carib Ringer	Official Umpire Michael Lee Presiding
Martin hits out during his brief innings	Carib Uttam watches procedings	Ringer Worthy takes avoiding action	Ringer Worthy and Captain Martin Haigh
Ringer Worthy and Martin Haigh steal a single	Ringer Worthy guides one down to third man	Ringer Worthy hits out	Martin plays a textbook late cut
The massed ranks of the Caribs on the boundary	A correct textbook defence by Captain Martin Haigh	Martin Haight prepares to play	Martin Haigh watches the progress of the recently struck cricket ball
Martin Haigh Misses on	Jarrod Worthy watches the ball	Carib Rogerson exchanges places wth his Captain	Carib Rogerson skying one up into the air
Carib Rogerson prepares to receive his next delivery	Ringer Worthy, batting	Dan Tungate and Jarrod Worthy touch gloves	The Carib Beer XI on the boundary
Ringer Dan Tungate	Carib Rogerson hits out	Carib Rogerson's textbook stance.

Scorecard