Carib Beer XI vs Dodgers, Greenwich Park,

Tuesday 19th July 2016

After a season decimated by rainy conditions the weather Gods decided to play the opposite trick on the Caribs, presenting us with extremely hot conditions. The temperature was still 32C at the planned start time of 1800. Of course the hot weather meant that every single station in London was subject to delays, with the tracks presumably melting, so at 1800 the best that could have been mustered was a 2-a-side match. Gradually the players started to arrive in dribs and drabs, every one of us with a tale of a long hot journey, though Carib Cordey had found some consolation in his journey, noting that a fellow commuter was even more hot , sticky and sweaty than a baker in a Northern pie factory.

Eventually by 1835 there were enough players present for a match to be started. In the absence of talismanic captain, chairman, leader and Best Batsman Mr Haigh, the normal skipper would have been the ageing medium, half retired, only plays when he can be bothered, balding, creaking Carib Rogerson would normally have stepped in. However he too was absent (Martin was in China, and Peter in Brazil, presumably countries with a far superior rail network to our own), so the skipper duties on the day were left to deputy-vice captain, ex-tour manager, special projects manager Carib Weaver.

The tradition of having the toss in the middle was dispensed with in the interests of actually starting a match, and the news came back that the Caribs were batting first (never did find out if this meant we had won the toss). We had also agreed the match would be reduced to 18 overs due to the lost time. Essex boy Carib Goochie had already decided that we would be batting first and in his keenness to get on with the game had been fully padded up 10 minutes before the toss even took place, perhaps with the memory of his lifetime best score and match winning innings from the previous week fresh in his mind. He was then greatly surprised to think this meant he would be asked to open, instead expecting that he could bat in his usual position of 5. Eventually a compromise was reached and it was agreed Glen would come in at 3, leaving the usual Carib openers of Weaver and Holmes to face the onslaught of the Dodgers opening bowlers.

The Caribs had been hoping that the Dodgers would adhere to the new regulations for our matches against them, basically they get hammered drinking, whilst we play at our absolute best. Unfortunately due to the hot weather and with the Dodgers fielding first, it seemed most of the drinking taking place was in the Carib ranks (whilst the cat's away….) So with the combination of the heat and a little bit of lethargy it was a very slow start to the Carib innings, fortunately this was also the case in terms of wickets too, with just one wicket falling in the first half of the Carib innings, the fallen batsman being Carib Holmes, who had at least worked out there was one very short boundary and had plundered one four in his short innings. So after 9 overs we were 37-1, so in the need of some action to liven things up. Sadly the excitement now came in a flurry of wickets, as we quickly moved onto 53-5 with Caribs Rayner, Weaver, Ringer Walsh, and Carib Swanand (Shaun/Sean) all quickly dismissed. The heroics of the previous week sadly not to be repeated by Goochie as he fell without scoring. Carib Weaver had also survived a dropped chance whilst he was on 4, before he took advantage to race onto 14 off 34 balls before his dismissal

This meant that the partnership in the middle was Ringer Dave, still dressed like a 1950's Yorkshireman on a day trip to Skegness and another Essex boy, Carib Willis, making his season debut. This immediately led to a vast improvement in the run rate, ringer Dave was scoring at his usual run a ball until he smacked the ball straight to the square leg fielder for a brisk 6. However this meant the entrance of Northern Pie Bakery Magnate Carib Cordey, who in his true village Blacksmith was having one of his good days. Phil also took advantage of the short boundary to smash a classic Cordey six, and he raced to 17 not out off just 10 balls by the end of our innings. Meanwhile at the other end, Carib Willis was scoring at a steady rate, in an innings featuring just one boundary, but many singles (all with the intention to get off strike to protect his average) he also had a 100+ strike rate with an innings of 14 not out from 12 balls. There was a moment of semi-controversy off the final ball of the Carib innings where after half of the Dodgers fielders had left the field they were forced to return as Carib umpire had given the ball as a wide, despite the ball seeming to hit the batsman on the leg. So all the Dodgers trooped back onto the field so an extra ball could be bowled, Carib Willis was on strike, now terrified about the possibility this could mean he would be dismissed and thus ruin his average. Luckily for Barry he was able to steal another single.

The power hitting at the end had led to a respectable score of 100-6, with 31 coming from the final 3 overs, we at this point had some small hope of making the game a contest. We first had to deal with Carib Willis, (sounding more like famous Yorkshireman Boycott rather than his Essex hero Nasser) explain how he had not been out for 2 years (neglecting to say he had played 2 games in that time) and also saying how he had a 100+ strike rate in this period, with an average of infinity, etc, etc, yawn.

The Dodgers proving what good sports they are offered one of their beers to bouncer bowling Carib Worthy who had been sub fielder for most of the innings for the Dodgers. Or maybe they knew Jarrod was about to open the bowling and knew of his weakness for a cold one. This and much other discussion about where the beer was meant there was a lengthy delay to the start of the Dodgers reply, their batters being out in the middle several minutes before any of the fielders bothered to slouch out to their positions.

Our usual wicketkeeper Carib Bowen was also absent, so the stand in skipper, deputy-vice captain Carib Weaver did the honourable thing and took the gloves himself, sharing the duties with Carib Holmes. Both did a fine job stopping the array of half trackers and full tosses thrown his way, conceding just 2 byes from the whole innings. Caribs Swanand (Shaun/Sean) and Worthy were the opening bowlers, Swanand in particular bowling a tidy spell. Jarrod, helped by a harder wicket due to the hot conditions and fuelled up to the max also did better than in recent weeks, managing to clean bowl one of the Dodgers openers.

However as is usually the case when we play the Dodgers, their batsmen were a bit too good for us. It seemed our tactic of hoping they would be a bit drunk had hopelessly failed this year. Even the usually economical Carib Cordey went for more than 10 an over. Phil however did manage to take a wicket, annoyingly putting him well in contention for yet another bowler of the year award.

Due to the many Carib absences the 4th and 5th bowlers used by the Caribs were the very part-time pairing of Carib treasurer and nurdler-in-chief Berry and Carib fixtures secretary and self-appointed website editor following a bloodless coup Carib Moss. Gordon managed to keep the runs down in his over using the clever tactic of bowling wides that rolled along the floor so he could only concede 2 runs a ball. So when Carib Moss came on we were just 11 overs into the innings, so 7 still to go, and only 16 needed. Regrettably for Carib Moss he elected for a tactic of bowling his slow high loopers right in the slot for the Dodgers Cooper, his first ball being dispatched for 4. Remarkably he then managed to bowl a rare dot ball for the innings fielding the ball himself. The next ball then went straight to Moss' fellow Rotherhamer Ringer Dave, fielding on the boundary, however there was to be no regional favouritism shown with Dave fumbling the ball over the line. This meant 8 was still needed so Moss decided he might as well get it over with by bowling a high full toss, costing 2 runs for a no ball that was also able to be dispatched for a massive 6, bringing the game to an end with 6.2 overs to spare and a defeat by 8 wickets. A proper thrashing.

However the Caribs took consolation in the fact it was a lovely summer evening with a trip to a a Greenwich establishment. Surprisingly Carib Willis barely seemed to mention his innings, something he is sure to make up for in remaining games this season.

Carib Beer XI Lose by 8 Wickets

Scorecard