Northern Trust vs Carib Beer XI, Greenwich Park,

Wednesday 19th July 2023

Throughout history there have been conflicts and betrayals, cinema often depicts this to spectacular effect. 300 Spartans betrayed by one of their own whilst attempting to hold off the invading Persian horde, The battle at Rourke’s Drift, 100 brave Welshman holding off 4,000 Zulu’s despite their cavalry regiment deserting them, Poor Mel Gibson betrayed by his own clansman whilst trying to reclaim his own land from the despicable English army. If a film of the last few days were to be turned into a Hollywood blockbuster then the story would be familiar, but thankfully with a few key differences.

The Carib Beer XI, made up of 16 members and a smattering of ringers face off against the behemoth banking empire of Northern Trust annually, despite having 25,000 employees to choose from each match, returning Northern Trust Captain Scott Douglas attempted to lure half the NT Carib membership into his clutches, thankfully this is where our story and the fate of William Wallace, King Leonidas and Lt Bromhead diverges. Carib’s Nitin and Archie remembered their pledge to the constitution and remained loyal. It should be noted that NT Carib Rishi would likely have remained loyal if approached, but was unavailable anyway, and NT Carib Gooch wasn’t deemed worthy of being approached at all, likely as his brand of Glenball doesn’t necessarily fit in with NTs swashbuckling style.

After spending several weeks trekking the foothills of the Himilayas, the Caribs were able to welcome back their proper Captain Mr Haigh and so, with the teams drawn up and assembled, 11 Caribs, 3 of them NT employees vs 11 NT representatives, it was time for the toss. Carib captain Mr Haigh strode like the returning hero he is, to the middle for the coin flip alongside Scott. The first moment of drama, Captain Haigh defeated Captain Douglas in their own private duel and elected to bat, any reader of these reports will know that a Carib toss win is as rare as rocking horse sh1t.

The Carib’s, Rishiless, had to change their order, ringer Vaibhiv and Full member Alex went out to face the Northern attack, unfortunately the pair thought Glenball was in – Captain Haigh having failed to read match reports due to a lack of WIFI in the Hindu Kush hadn’t updated team strategy and so Alex and Vaibhiv scored at a Himilayan hill walking pace. After 8 overs, the Caribs were only on 42 runs. A spate of quick wickets, including Mr Moss promoted to 4, meant that before long, Vishal and Swanand were batting – this was good news for the scoreboard. Swanand immediately started hitting boundaries, including a towering 6, and when he departed for 18 after only 12 balls, it meant the Caribs could welcome their loyal big scoring all-rounder Archie to the middle who proceeded to also show NT what he thought of their diabolical poaching attempts and what they were missing, Vishal, who had come in at 3 retired after 24 balls which meant Captain Haigh joined fiercely loyal Runacres in the middle.

Archie is so passionate about the Caribs, that he showed his displeasure with Captain Haigh’s pace of scoring (12 off 12 isn’t good enough these days) by valiantly running out the captain, a truly heroic moment that was much applauded on the boundary. When Archie was bowled for 21 off 17, the innings was largely over, there was time for Mr Weaver to score 2 and Gooch to face his hat-trick nemesis from last weeks NT victory, NT’s Minchin for a single ball that was defended for a solitary run – another unexpected outcome in the match, odds were strong that Glen would be out, clean bowled again. The final score was a defendable, but possibly just below par 134, when you consider NT scored 146 with an over to spare the week before.

Under a now slightly overcast sky, the honourable Carib’s took to the field. NT Carib Nitin would open the bowling alongside Carib Swanand. The NT openers weren’t playing with the same fluidity as the week before and after the first change or bowlers, Akanksh and Vishal now on also kept things tight, after 7 overs NT were on 36 runs without losing a wicket, which still meant NT were ahead due to the Carib’s own lacklustre start the innings before.

In the 8th over there was a shift in the games dynamic, NT Rob cut a delivery to the mid-wicket boundary where fiercely loyal Carib Nitin ran in, picked up the ball and fired to the single visible stump from 40 yards in one fluid movement, NT Rupert, who had been strolling down the wicket, thinking he was on a Himilayan hill walk enjoying the scenery was still 3 yards short when his wickets exploded in front of him. This bought in Captain Scott who in the same over was clean bowled having scored 3 runs. On his way back he probably wished he had stayed in Ipswich, the score was now 45 from 8 with 2 wickets down. NT Sunil and Rob chipped away at the lead, but some tight bowling from Archie meant NT couldn’t get ahead in the run rate but remained firmly in the contest, a retirement for Sunil and a smart catch from Swanand to dismiss Rob off of Akanksh’s last over meant the Caribs were now bowling at some new batsmen with some changes in the Carib attack.

Vishal returned to compliment Captain Haigh’s medium pace, this period, was where the Carib’s got on top, NTs runs dried up, as did the updates on the pavilion end scoreboard and Captain Haigh also took a spectacular caught and bowled. The final 4 overs saw the return to the attack of Nitin and Swanand, NT still required a gettable 35 runs from 4 overs and NT started running quick 1s and 2s, after last weeks run chase, the Carib’s started to feel the pressure, some sloppy fielding again didn’t help, but just as all seemed lost, at that moment, un-poachable Carib Nitin saw another amazing opportunity in the field, with the throw to the bowlers end NT Jack thought he was safe and was strolling towards the strikers end, he hadn't counted for some sharp thinking from bowler Nitin who gathered the ball and quickly threw down at the opposite end leaving NT Jack well out. A tight final over from Nitin meant that NT came up 9 runs short with a total of 125.

A happy stroll to the King’s arms to discuss the victory followed for the Caribs, whilst NT where left to ponder what might have been if Scott had managed to convince either of his targets to do a Sol Campbell or alternatively clone a copy of Nitin from the DNA samples which adorn the Greenwich outfield.

Carib Beer XI Win by 9 Runs

Scorecard