Carab Beer XI vs St Peters Dad,

Battersea Park, Thursday 21st June 2018

The Caribs made their first trek of the season down to Battersea Park to face St Peters Dad. A bunch of dads whose kids attended St Peters school. So with their average age being high they are a good match for the Caribs.

Fairly soon after our arrival at the pitch, one of the more unusual episodes in Carib History began to unfold. Quite possibly the most inappropriately dressed spectator in history, adorned only in a pair of electric blue speedos began doing lunges, star jumps and using his bike for bicep curls.

Carib skipper was the returning Mr Haigh who promptly returned to his usual ways and lost the toss meaning we were to field first.

We remembered from last season that they were a good batting unit and they got off to a good start helped by a few fours off the bat from Carib Kant and although Carib Adam and Ringer Nitin were not conceding many runs off the bat there were many byes due to a small ground and a lightning quick outfield. Stand in wicket keeper Carib vice captain and special projects manager Carib Weaver doing his best in difficult circumstances. Ringer Nitin was at least able to stem the flow of runs by picking up a couple of wickets. Carib Adam was also unlucky not to pick up a couple of wickets with some edges that either flew past the keeper and slips or were too hot to handle.

Our leader, chairman and best batsman Carib Haigh was making his season debut and decided to bring himself on and Carib Moss to slow the pace down a bit. This worked well with Carib Miss tossing up his dobbers drawing in Dad Richardson to hit one straight to Ringer Zain at long off (actually a son of one of the Dads who was playing for the Caribs). Incredibly the slow loopy bowling from Moss also did for Dad Neale who after a couple of streaky shots nicked one behind which was well held by keeper Weaver. This led to the unusual sight of Carib Moss being given a 3rd over which was definitely one too many as Dad Swanson took him to the cleaners with an over costing 25, with 4s hit to all parts of the ground.

Fortunately it was time for our strike pair of Carib Kant and Ringer Nitin to return who did a good job of keeping the score down in the final overs. Carib Kant picking up a caught behind dismissal which was only awarded when Dad Trevelyan-Clarke honourably walked when a thin edge was not heard by the umpire. Obviously any bowler writing this report would never dispute the ability of any umpire with the rest of season in mind. The direction of the wind was given as the reason for the inaction. Ringer Nitin also picked up another wicket to finish with 3-10.

The Dads has racked up 150 helped by the 24 byes and the monster over off Moss.

Our now almost regular opening pair of Carib Holmes and Carib Horn strode to the crease but had to see off the tight bowling from the Dads opening bowlers meaning it was difficult to score. Carib Horn was unfortunately out for a duck, a rare failure this season. This meant Carib Rayner Essex Boy Goochie was in earlier than normal buoyed by his prematch pep talk from Carib Moss that his season could only get worse after his not out performances in the earlier matches. Sadly this piled too much pressure on Goochie and he was also out for a duck.

However this allowed the steadying influence of Carib Weaver to start building a partnership with Carib Holmes.

Meanwhile freed up from the responsibilities of anchoring the Carib innings Goochie was able to regale us with stories of when he was in court and separately how he thinks the Mona Lisa is an over rated piece of art.

Back at the cricket Carib Holmes having seen off the opening bowling was able to cash in, hitting a few boundaries on his way to a decent 21. So good in fact that it was declared that our spectator, Carib Horn's better half had never seen a better innings, making Alex the best batsman she's ever seen*

*also thought to be first cricket match she's ever seen....

Carib Weaver, Ringer Nitin and Carib Adam brought further respectability to the innings with good middle order contributions. Carib Adam retiring on 25 with an innings including 3 boundary 4s and 2 sixes.

The wickets kept tumbling though and even best batsman Carib Martin couldn't turn the tide in our favour though his dismissal was only due to a fine catch at mid on from Dad skipper Bulloch.

Caribs Moss and Kant quickly came and went, although at least managing some quick boundaries as well. This meant Carib Adam was needed to return alongside Ringer Zain who was at the crease facing his own Dad.

Dad skipper Bulloch returned to the attack and was just as tricky to score off as at the start of the innings so the game drifted to an inevitable win for the Dads. The Caribs finished on a respectable 113-8, but were sadly always struggling to match the Dads. A game played in good spirit though with the inevitable conclusion that the change in skipper back to Carib Haigh had to be the only reason for our first defeat of the season. A call to return to the leadership of Gooch or Weaver mooted as a possible way to get us back to winning ways....

Upon arrival at the after match drinking hole Martin decided to imitate the Spanish inquisition and thought it would be a good time to begin interrogating our latest ringer. For the next 30 minutes Nitin was questioned on all aspects of his action, it got to the point where Nitin had to explain that back in India the district level he played at actually does recording and analysis of actions, Nitin was then forced to explain the nature of his bone structure and that he has a bone protrusion that may look like he is straightening his arm. Martin seemed satisfied with this and then referenced back to Michael to say it's his elbow disability and not a dubious action that led to his initial enquiry

Alex also shared some of his darkest secrets and his fear that his local pitch at Greenwich is in-fact his bogey ground, after his epic innings and putting 2 and 2 together he may bring his wife / girlfriend next week as having had Tom's g/f watching him obviously helped and may get over his bad run streak at Greenwich. It should be noted that it is unclear at this point if Tom's failure to concentrate on the dot ball situation was in anyway related to his girlfriend's doe eyed gazing at Mr. Holmes

It was noted by at least one Carib member that Mr Lee seemed to be suffering delays in decision making that wouldn't look out of place at the current Russian World Cup Finals with at least 3 decisions apparently being sent for an internal VAR review.

Carib Beer XI Lose by 37 Runs

Scorecard